When Mello runs out of Chocolate
by Nyehnyehnyehnyehnyeh
Summary: Mello runs out of Chocolate, and Matt can't afford any more. When Mello starts to go nuts, he calls the person who has a fortune...T for swearing and mild suggestive themes
1. The problem arises

Disclaimer:If I owned this thing…There'd be SUCH a DIFFERENT OUTCOME

It was a nice, warm spring day, in a rickety old building with dusty windows…and the birds were flying happily with twittering sounds emanating from their little feathery throats…

Until one sound went above it all:

"MAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!"

That one roar of a name sent the birds flying.

in the said building

A blonde boy, no older than 19, stormed about the room, gun in hand.

"MATT! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

Said boy came down, in a red and black striped shirt and orange goggles.

"What is it, Mello? I'm about to kill the final boss…"

"Matt…I have an unsettling issue…"

Matt sat down on the torn up, old couch, lighting a cigarette.

"What is it, Mello?"

Mello looked at him, if looks could kill, Matt would be a pile of ashes on the ground.

"I'm out of Chocolate."

Matt sighed.

"Mello, you know I'm working 2 jobs…you're with the mafia…I haven't gotten either of my paychecks and you just spend yours on ammunition…"

Mello grumbled something along the lines of "Not true…" as he sat beside Matt.

Matt got up, gun in hand, and went to his room.

Mello sat there reloading his gun.

Matt got out, with a fuzzy pink pillow.

Mello looked at him like he was crazy.

"Mello, I got this from a toy store for 2 bucks. The amount of chocolate you eat in a day adds up to about 12 bucks…"

Mello shrugged.

"So?"

Matt sighed again in annoyance, extinguishing his now burned-out cigarette on the already abused couch.

"One thing to do then…"

Matt picked up the phone, and dialed a number.

In the SPK

The phone rang, and Near, checking the caller ID, picked it up

"Hello?"

"Near?"

"Huh? Who is this?"

"Near, you know very well who this is…its Matt. Mello's friend."

Near twirled his hair while he answered.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Look, Mello's going into withdrawal again, and we can't afford any more chocolate for him, you think you could help us out?"

Near thought a moment, then answered:

"Yes, but only if you do something for me."

All was silent…

Then…

"Oh HELL NO, Near, what kind of-" he abruptly stopped talking.

"…fine, I'll do it…alright, bye, thanks, Near"

He hung up.

Mello came in.

"What was that about?"

"Well, according to my chocolate ticket, I have to fly to Tokyo TODAY to pick up something from a certain shop…" Matt said, exasperated.

"…I'm coming with you…" Mello said

Matt looked at him, then sighed and nodded

"We leave in 3 hours…"


	2. What did he want?

In Tokyo

In Tokyo

"GOD, Matt, when can I get some Chocolate?" Mello complained

"Mello, just Shut up and sit down. I'll be getting some chocolate in a few hours!

"Hrrrrnnn…" Mello groaned, laying down on the soft Hotel bed.

Matt had been nice enough to give him the last of his stale chocolate pocky. It was either that, or chocolate-flavored Laxatives…

Matt called Near again to make sure they were in the right place.

"Near you wanted it from the...um…" He pulled out a paper" Anime Shitsumon?" Matt read off the paper

"Yes. I placed an order for it, but I had to assign Rester to another errand."

"Near, this is nuts, why do you _want _this thing anyway?"

"I need it for the investigation…" Near said

"All right, I'll get it now…"

He hung up, and Mello looked at him curiously.

"What _did_ Near want, anyway?" Mello asked

"Some kit he pre-ordered" Matt said, going to the balcony to smoke

Mello flopped down on the bed again, sighing

Honestly, Near was going to be the death of him…

And possibly Matt…

At the Store

"Damn it…" Matt cursed under his breath

He couldn't read _all_ the Kanji on the register… and obviously, no one knew how to speak English…

Mello, however, was Bilingual, and he could speak and read English and Japanese.

So, making a mental note to kick himself later, he asked Mello.

"Hey, Mello, could you translate for me?"

Mello looked at him like he was nuts.

"_What?_" Mello asked

"You heard me, Mell, We're never going to get your _precious Chocolate_ otherwise"

Mello stiffened.

"Alight, _Matt, _but you owe me a cartridge of ammunition when we get back" Mello said, annoyed that he was forced to relent.

Matt grinned, this was too easy.


	3. Oh crap

Getting lunch wasn't too hard, as long as Mello was reminded of his chocolate shortage, he'd do anything.

Now, to get to the feared toystore and waiting for hours to get the stupid kit Near ordered.

thankfully, the line wasn't too long...

only about 500 people in line...

Hey, good to be optimistic, right?

Matt stayed in line with Mello, who was muttering curses to himself and twitching his leg. He was mad and Matt knew it.

just a few more minutes, and they'd open the gates...

"ARE YOU READY, KIDS, FOR THE GREATEST TOY TO EVER BE SOLD IN THIS SHOP?" the louspeaker blared, followed by lot of children screaming and yelling.

Oh great...

The doors opened and everyone poured into the small toy shop. Matt had to restrain Mello from kiling passing people with small children.

They saw a careless kid holding the box lightly in one arm, and Mello grabbed the box, grabbed Matt, and ran.

Mello didn't stop running until they were back at their Hotel room. Mello locked the door quickly and spazzticly looked around the room.

"Mello, are you okay?" Matt said, putting his hand on the insane blond's shoulder.

Mello whipped his head around and kissed his friend on the lips, and started frenching him and doing inhuman things with his tongue.

Matt tried struggling, but saw the gun in Mello's free hand and thought better of it.

"Maaaaattttyyyy, I want you to sing to meeee..." Mello said, almost sounding drunk.

"Mello, I can't-"

"SING DAMN YOU!" Mello howled, dragging him on the bed and straddling his green-haired friend across the stomach.

"AGH, MELLO! GET THE FU-" He was silenced as he realized that Mallo's hand was rested on his crotch.

Now, Matt wasn't gay, he never was, never will be, but the intrusion was making him hard...

"Mello, get your hand off my balls."

"Sing, Damn you..." Mello said tiredly.

"Uhh..." he groaned, half in arousal and half in annoyance.

"Sing me a lullaby, the one you used to sing every night to yourself when we were roommates." Mello specified, laying backwards and putting weight on the hand that was intruding Matt's space.

" Love is like the angel

that never flies alone

it always had a partner

to lead it to the throne

but one day the angel dissappeared

and she was left alone

and as the path to sadness neared

she walked the path to home." Matt sung, desperate to get Mello off him.

"hummm...y'know, that's more of a... poem, ya know? you could be a poet... or a singer.." Mello said sleepily.

"Mello, Ive known that song for years."

"I know, but still..." Mello said, lifting himself up and scooting back so he sat on the intruding hand.

"Mello, get the hell off..." Matt said weakly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"cuz I want you to sing more." Mello said, squeezing lightly on Matt's hard crotch.

"Mello, stop, off." Matt said.

Mello pulled out the gun he was holding.

"Sing."

Matt sang a variety of songs, opera, german sonhs, love songs, random songs, rock songs, everything he could think of.

And finally, when he sang a german lullaby, Mello fell forward and started to snore.

Matt laid there dumbfounded. a german lullaby was all it took? how wierd...

Now... to take care of the hardness in his crotch...

Wait... shit...

"How DO I get it out?" Matt panicked.


	4. Mello, you whore

Matt settled for trying to take a nap with his blond friend still on him, snoring and putting weight on his crotch.

He laid there for a while, trying to will this hard nuts to relax, but to no avail.

He got the kit, he had Mello back with no arrests, but he was being hand-raped by said blond.

He had to move Mello's hand off his balls before he did something completely wierd.

He tried taking the gun first, which wasn't too hard. But getting Mello's hand off the place he wanted it off was easier said than done.

When he touched it, Mello tightened his hand around his balls, making him bite back a groan.

Worse still was ther way Mello was laying on him. his hand was on Matt's balls, that was for sure, but mello was laying in such a way that his own balls were on top of his hand. The only thing seperating their balls was a hand. a leather-gloved hand.

Matt sighed in exasperation, and decided to just take a nap.

He actually fell asleep, but was awakened by Mallo abruptly squeezing the life out of his crotch again.

"MELLO! OUCH, DAMNIT, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" he said, pushing mello off him.

"Huhhh? what-where-"

Matt jumped up, panting and sweating and... blushing...

"Mello, you freakin squeezed my BALLS, what were you _thinking_?" he said, almost ready to fight the blond.

"huh? oh, I dunno, but you look freakishly sexy, Matty." he said with the same drunken voice.

"Aw crap, not again..." Matt said as Mello pushed him down.

"Strip, damn you." Mello said, threatening him with a vase that Matt had replaced his gun with.

"Mello, are you gay?"

"NO, how DARE you call me gay! Strip damn you!" Mello said, contradicting himself in one breath.

Seeing as Matt's shirt was already off, he pulled his pants down and sat in his boxers, which were printed with pixellized Marios, Yoshis and bowsers, and had "NINTENDO" printed on the waistband.

"Take em off." Mello said, pointing the vase at his face.

"Mello, you said you're not gay, so I don't know why I should."

"That's exactly why I want you to strip, damn you!" Mello yelled, poking him with the vase.

"so you're a hypocrite?" Matt teased.

His joke was lost when Mello crashed his lips on his again, and proceeded to make out.

Matt was SCARED now.

But what could he do? Mello would probably kill him with his vase of doom.

But then, he felt a draft...

And Mello had his Boxers in his hand, twirling it around his finger.

"Mello, give that back!" Matt screamed, grabbing for it.

"Nope, I must say though, you really do have a big one." Mello said, sounding very out of character.

"Mello, give that back, I swear, I'll tell the Mafia about this..."

"How do you think I got to the top in the first place, Matty?"

...

Not the answer he was expecting...

but then, Mello pounced on him and started to do completely wierd things to Matt, who was suffering, mostly because he wasn't gay in the first place, some was that his ass was sore afterwards, some was due to the fact that he actually stayed with this psycho...


End file.
